cracker crumbs and ice-cream sticks

for macdonalds

i have come here to watch something other than my life
that looked so pathetic in matted mirror

i have history here with no one but the birds

it's good to know i can be disconnected and still be ok

theres a thirteen year old
with her composition book and birkenstocks.
her hair is parted like mine and she finds her seclusion
on a bench
facing the swings.

the see-sawing helps her thoughts.

her hair falls close to the pages
she hunches over and fills with despairings
and musings and secrets.
she fiddles with her shoes as she draws
pausing to reflect and to gather momentum

the possum creek bench etches into my skin
making red circle tatoos (dont know which to qualify) on my ankles

she is my spanish translation

seven year olds play footy
with thirsty coaches howling at the lines.

i want to fall asleep here on this bench
with my shoes waiting on the ground
and have someone tap me lightly
when it's time to go home.

monkeys are it
chasing the girls from the slides.
one waits for a late pickup.
he eyes are full of defeat.

so many languages.

now run along. men are talking

apparently the end has an urgency.
My reaction is hovering.
I understand that there are certain souvenirs I cannot take
and time will let my memories fade.

An Alumnus - speaking of the birds
and the taste of things

Storms feel tender and guiding.
Everyone still looks the same
and grows up for a mortgage.

Can I no longer be irresponsible
and enjoy weekends
and hangovers.

in sense

i take the burner down

from the shelf

and ash drizzles

tinting the air 

with gray

i remember when i lit what is ash

but only now did i

until then was potential bicker

and coming back is everything

that ever sounds like wonder

i usually empty it on thursday

we must wait until a way shows us out

muses

what inspiration curls our hands

our minds

to create

something seen as beauty

wands wisp

and the essence unfolds

in color and absolute

and nothing inteferes

until resonance

satisfies

i wait for this harmony in any

i look with love and see some form

in the nothing

see as you see

and in that find light

we are in gevurah

with endurance

and though from those words

yellow doesnt flow as firm chesed

there is you

in strength

so many things so many things

and so many tests

that bring us further from the center

to take us back

i want something to take it over

to hold me in its breats so I dont have to hang on 

stumbling anymore

and scolding myself

i always forget in a few hours 

and so tomorrow it happens again

this channel seems too crackling

like when it rains

or perhaps im in the wrong bedroom

tell me more about chani

stop this

be happy 

and why do you hurt yourself

when you know im listening

perhaps I AM your mother

or never understand exactly

what i was

districts and lobbying

colors in shade

fuels and photons

time and its end

granted

S.O.Selfish.S

I realize I dont like you because you dont teach me anything.
You drain my smile
And tempt wrist slitting with your gnawing.
When you open your mouth I almost expect vibrating death
And so I stay quiet
In an attempt to cage myself.

I pray for you to your deaf god
Because you obviously are light blind
In your insecure spiral.
I dont know what I wish for you
but only balance of a see-saw friend
as compensationarily heavy.
And prozac

for the squirrels

he lay fetally on the yellow line
his right eye marbled a black hollow
his feet packed neatly
and his tail humbly eyebrowed.
i have never maneuvered death
and honor the pallbearers and shomerim
who were once affected.
i turned him, prodding, trying to balance him between the forked palm.
the distance was safe.
he rolled on the asphalt and i winced.
the lids of his left eye met.
he is covered with damp leaves on my neighbors front.
Grace Happens

chevy astra

the tireless, cinder-block-jacked van
sits on our corner
car battery, shovel, rain boots
ladders
I wander what he does for a living

see back for details

reversed clouds glide across panes
its a calm seven, euphoric and squirrel scurried
we're still dying from consumption
the needing is riding my head insane

HIV is a great way to put a foot down on risky behavior
cancer keeps us indoors
we get sicker as the drug companies pump

When god consciousness began

i think i know
i think everything here is beautiful
i think i know more than you

if you are
you think you know

can we meet?

no no no, be my guest

sirens seems to cause absolute pandemonium

a palpitation that lets all rules of the road slide

drive on the left, up on the side walk

obstruct an intersection

just get out of the way

something is burning

and you're excused

we understand what the flashing allows

runner-up

i think i once scored the highest marks in my standard
then i was president of interact
and on the A team for netball
i had floating ballerina trophies for man-eating performances
and a kipling space case

i had a hebrew and an english submission in our year book
and buffalo shoes

i wouldnt wear my retainer
to school
and kissed at least threes boys on a good night

these things had to make me
cause i wasnt otherwise

31/03/09

march, so much
so open intra, inter weaving
sky dripping my rhythm
so far but so close

time takes everything perfectly
and this gratitude for what
is now
stays harmony in unfolding

again this is complexity
expressive encoding
to decifer in another head

or when you read it

dawn dew

the crow of half-mooned sun
stretchs stimulating reattempt
again.
when will the morniong stay
and not bring the coat of night?
when will we not need the dark
to appreciated awakening
or see the black and be?
oscillating through
connect is reward
fuel to seek
again.

recorded

using surround in
to create moment beauty
out
wonder manipulation

how am i here
in, scales
thank you שַׁחַר
dripping from our mouths
like nectar

thank you שרה

thank you פסח
for this moment in all
in all
ever before
is this

cured.

אֶמְצַע

running to the fairest
scenario, constant
What should is
and the difficulty of acceptance
the quiet brings time
to think, become
and question every belief
influenced
creating art in movement
with life
forgetting the vapor
living THIS as THIS
never ending
Separation or Reservance
if this even is
something has changed
perhaps i dont want to understand
and let evolution
without blame
or too much anti-entropy

I feel like im playing a game
sometimes
you know
obvious
oblivion

why does love seem wrong so much
lost in our world of happening
should this be

why cant i just say
it's there in your eyes
and fear of imbalance
denies it.

of what, where do I feel this

closer closer
to it, doorframe
there
from the beginning
there was light

absolute

i have lost a telephone with your smell in it

there seems to be so much
about truth
so adding nothing more
than i hear you brotha