aye

why do i want to call, to connect, looking for something in you.not wanted to drain you of your wonder offering but now, at this time, feeling a swirling of yuck
this is the feeling that haunts
that simmers, broods in its second coming
like a black west of last light (thank you g.m.hopkins)

maybe it is a break i need
nothing i need
myself i need
what really needs to change
to evolve
and why
fuck
why

and when isnt it
what is happening that it doesnt exist sometimes
how to be there
or be simply ok not being there
the drain, the drop

i am trying to snap out of it
just to be
yay it is all ok
and then i catch myself snapping
reacting to something too quickly
too rashly

i wouldnt otherwise
would i ?

thank you for the board
that all it is

no need to absorb
please dont absorb
please erase this message as soon as the words are passed over
letting their semantics brush over like an egg laying wash

i havent written, to you i write
i write in the poop log, or draw
nothing else comes
like your music famine
nothing
and in this space of creative nothingnes
i feel least myself
little myself
i cannot express but am simply reacting to the moment
what needs to be done
in the best way i can

the forest is good for me
bad for me
for me
for everyone

and it will sink in in a decade
if i am still a faryn then
and